What to Do When a Loved One Passes

What to Do When a Loved One Passes: A Step-by-Step Guide

Losing someone you love is one of life’s hardest moments. The emotional weight can feel overwhelming, and amidst the grief, you may also be faced with immediate decisions that need attention. If you're searching for guidance on what to do when someone dies, you're not alone - and you don’t have to do everything at once. This guide is designed to gently walk you through the practical steps, offering some clarity during an incredibly difficult time.

Whether you’re preparing in advance or facing an unexpected loss, having a clear checklist after death can ease some of the uncertainty. Below is a compassionate, step-by-step guide to help you through the early hours, days, and weeks that follow.

Step 1: Get a Legal Pronouncement of Death

The first thing that needs to happen when someone passes is to have their death legally confirmed.

If your loved one dies in a hospital or under hospice care, medical staff will typically handle this.
If the death occurs at home unexpectedly, call 911. Emergency responders will assist and guide you through the next steps.

Once the death is pronounced, you’ll receive a death certificate, which is essential for everything that follows, from closing bank accounts to arranging the funeral.

Step 2: Notify Close Family and Friends

Start by informing immediate family members and those closest to the deceased. This can be emotionally exhausting, so consider asking a trusted relative or friend to help make calls or send messages.

Take your time. It’s okay to pause and breathe between conversations.

Step 3: Secure the Home and Belongings

If the person lived alone, you may need to make sure their home and personal property are safe. Lock doors and windows, take care of any pets, and collect important documents. This includes:

Identification
Insurance policies
A will or advance directive
Financial records
Titles and deeds

You don’t have to go through everything right away, just make sure nothing is at risk of being lost, stolen, or damaged.

Step 4: Contact a Funeral Home

One of the first major decisions involves funeral planning. If your loved one pre-arranged their funeral, reach out to the chosen provider. If not, you’ll need to select a funeral home you trust.

A good funeral director will walk you through the available options, including:

Burial or cremation
Religious or non-religious services
Location and timing
Transportation of the body

This is also when you’ll talk about preparing an obituary and coordinating with clergy or celebrants. Try not to feel pressured to have all the answers right away; ask questions and allow the funeral home staff to support you.

Step 5: Look for a Will and Executor

If there is a will, it should name an executor, or the person responsible for managing the deceased’s estate. This includes:

Handling debts and final bills
Distributing assets
Working with an attorney, if needed

If there’s no will, probate court will likely need to appoint someone to this role. This can take time, so be patient with the process.

Step 6: Get Multiple Copies of the Death Certificate

You’ll need official copies of the death certificate for many practical matters, including:

Life insurance claims
Bank and investment account closures
Transferring property or vehicle titles
Notifying government agencies

Request at least 10 copies from the funeral home or vital records office.

Step 7: Notify Key Institutions

Here’s a short checklist after death for institutions that should be contacted:

Social Security Administration – They need to be informed to stop benefits or begin survivor benefits.
Employer or Pension Provider – There may be life insurance or final pay owed.
Banks and Financial Institutions – Secure accounts and update ownership where necessary.
Insurance Companies – File claims for any life, health, or auto insurance.
Credit Bureaus – Prevent identity theft by reporting the death to major credit agencies.

Each of these steps may take time, and many will require documentation. Keep a folder or digital file to stay organized.

Step 8: Plan the Funeral or Memorial Service

This is often one of the most personal and emotional parts of funeral planning. Depending on your loved one’s preferences (or what feels right to you) you might consider:

A traditional funeral with visitation
A graveside service
A celebration of life
A small private gathering

There’s no single “right” way to honor a life. The most meaningful services reflect the person’s character, values, and relationships.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Friends and family often want to contribute, whether that means reading a poem, bringing food, or simply showing up to support.

Step 9: Begin Settling the Estate

The legal and financial matters that follow a death can be complex. The executor or appointed administrator will handle most of this, but tasks may include:

Closing accounts
Filing a final tax return
Paying debts
Distributing inheritances

It’s wise to consult with an estate attorney or accountant to ensure nothing is missed. Some families also choose to work with a professional who specializes in estate settlement.

Step 10: Take Care of Yourself

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. While the immediate steps may take up your time and attention, your emotional well-being matters just as much.

Be patient with yourself.
Accept help when it's offered.
Take breaks when you need them.

If you feel overwhelmed, speak with a grief counselor, a support group, or a trusted friend. You’re not expected to go through this alone.

Final Thoughts

Knowing what to do when someone dies isn’t something most people feel prepared for. But with clear steps and a little guidance, you can manage what needs to be done while still honoring your emotions and memories.

Remember: It’s okay to go slowly. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to feel lost at times.

If you’re looking for support with funeral planning or have questions about the process, our team is here to assist with care and respect. From first steps to final goodbyes, you don’t have to carry the burden alone.

If you found this guide helpful, consider printing it or sharing it with someone who may need it. A thoughtful plan can be a quiet comfort in a difficult moment.

For compassionate support and practical answers, feel free to reach out: we’re here when you need us.

Evan W. Smith Funeral Services is honored to walk with you through this journey. We are here to offer guidance and compassionate care as you celebrate your loved one’s life. While this funeral planning checklist is a helpful starting point, we’re always available to assist with the details. Please contact us anytime.

Since 2009, residents of Wilmington, Dover, and the surrounding Delaware community have relied on the caring staff at Evan W. Smith Funeral Services to help them through their darkest hours. Family-owned and operated, the company offers an array of elite funeral care services, including traditional funerals, cremations, memorials, pre-planning, grief counseling, and more. With decades of experience in caring for families from all cultural backgrounds and diverse walks of life, Evan W. Smith Funeral Services is committed to creating memorable, uplifting experiences that always exceed expectations. For more information, please visit www.evanwsmithfuneralservices.com.

Blog